Shot of Ry

Two Vancouver School Trustees Appear in Anti-Gay Marriage Organization Video

2011-12-14T12:02:00.000-08:00

I have had it.

I’ve tried to give Ken Denike and Sophia Woo as much benefit of the doubt as I am physically capable of. I have made more excuses for them than I can usually muster. Oh, it’s an election; they’re just trying to court the conservative vote. Oh, they’re just trying to get headlines. Oh, they’re just uninformed in every conceivable way. Oh, they’re just ignoring logic and reason. We've duked it out in the media and I've listen carefully to their cases in hope of finding some glimmer of light that they are, in fact, supportive of our community. Alas, there are no more excuses; there is no more benefit of the doubt.

I’ve only had a little real-life interaction with trustees Denike and Woo. Sophia Woo and I met at an information session on technology addiction, and I wished her luck on her campaign. Ken Denike and I had a good conversation at Davie Days about the anti-homophobia policy of the Vancouver School Board, and he voted in support of endorsing the Purple Letter Campaign.

However, there is only one conclusion I can come to regarding these two.

Ken Denike and Sophia Woo are virulently homophobic.

Let me bring you back to the summer. A particular anti-gay lobbyist (yes, we have those in BC) launched a campaign against local anti-bullying organization Out in Schools. It was 90% lies, but there was an underlying concern that included in a teacher-only resource manual was a link to a website that, after some digging, had a provocative video on it. Since the link was only available in a teacher-only resource the chances that the video would be seen by a student through Out in Schools was almost zero, but Out in Schools still removed the link from their booklet, redistributed it, and let schools know of the concern. Case closed.

Or at least, it should have been. It would have been too. Instead, enter Denike and Woo.

It started with a sensational press conference. The seasoned trustee and then-trustee-hopeful slammed the organization and the school board based on the same mistakes that were promoted months before. They were quickly informed that not only was their information mistaken, but that remedies had already taken place. I, after some yelling, worked with 24 Hours to correct their article so that fact and claims were correctly distinguished. Figuring that Denike and Woo were just horribly mistaken and jumping to the media because we were in an election I expected this to be the end of things.

A few weeks later Sophia Woo went on a Chinese radio station and continued to attack Out in Schools.

At this point some elements had to have changed. First, the leader of the NPA Suzanne Anton had put out in her newsletter that she supports Out in Schools and the work that they do. This meant that in small part, Woo was mutinying against her own party. Also, as I had vehemently informed Woo and Denike of the mistakes they had made, there is no doubt Woo knew that she was lying.

The election was only a short time ahead, so we waited. Personally, my greatest wish in the election was for Sophia Woo to go down the way anti-gay Parents Voice went down in Burnaby, since they were both promoting the same rhetoric. However, on election night, Sophia Woo and Ken Denike were both elected, along with five Vision Vancouver trustees, one Coalition of Progressive Electors, and another Non-Partisan Association colleague, Fraser Ballantyne.

A bit tongue-in-cheek I tweeted the following:

I do hope now that she is a trustee @woo_sophia will apologize for the gross disservice she did for students by attacking Out in Schools.

Immediately following this an investigation that was looking into Out in Schools came back an informed everyone that they found nothing remiss about the program, their materials, or the level of access students or teachers have.

Again, I thought this would be the end of things. In my own world I was starting to put more focus on working with the Provincial level on getting some anti-homophobia work done. After all, Vancouver has a pretty solid sexual orientation policy and while it could be improved, there are enough resources in Vancouver that my focus is best served on rural areas.

Then a friend emailed me this, dated December 6^th, 2011 (though I have been informed it was filmed in September).

My head exploded. I could feel lava boiling in my stomach. If Denike or Woo had been anywhere near me I would have yelled until I passed out from lack of oxygen.

I’ll let the National Organization for Marriage, which this video was in support of; explain in its own words what they’re all about. This should also explain my anger.

“Founded in 2007 in response to the growing need for an organized opposition to same-sex marriage in state legislatures, NOM serves as a national resource for marriage-related initiatives at the state and local level.”

Ken Denike and Sophia Woo have lent their voices in support of an organization dedicated to restricting and revoking the rights of same-sex couples.

We should be outraged. Not because they’re bigots, because there are plenty of those out there and really, our time is more valuable than that. Not because they’re public officials, because there are plenty of homophobic public officials. Not because they’re wrong, because it’s obvious that they don’t give a flying ball of excrement about us, our rights, or our LGBTQ students struggling through schools.

No, we should be outraged because they constantly claim to be supportive of our community.

Denike talked proudly at Davie Days about his work introducing an explicit policy around sexual orientation.

On November 15^th Sophia Woo tweeted BCTF vice-president Glen Hansman this:

@glenhansman Glen, I haven’t been ambiguous. All students, staff and parents deserve a safe, harassment-free & inclusive school. Period.

The contents of the video are no longer an issue, since the problem has been resolved. The issue is that this video, and it's contents, are being used to fight against marriage equality in the US.

Ken Denike and Sophia Woo have let their voices be weapons against the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. They have actively supported efforts to revoke and restrict our rights. They have attacked an organization that helps the students under their care as trustees, and they have done all this publicly.

It hurts.

These are my rights. The right for me to live and go to school in safety. The right to one day marry the man I love. The right to share benefits and adopt children. Rights that hundreds of people before me fought for, were locked up for, and some died for.

Ken and Sophia, please, if you read this, take your voices away from National Organization for Marriage. Ask them to remove the video. Apologize for the way it is being used. Clearly state that you do not oppose gay rights and protections. Use the word "gay" or "lesbian" in a sentence.

Because I want this to be over, don't you?

Letter to British Columbia MLAs Regarding Homophobia and Transphobia

2011-12-09T10:25:00.000-08:00

We have an opportunity in British Columbia to offer explicit protections for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. The Minister of Education met with myself and Kaitlin from the Purple Letter Campaign in October. Now we need the support of the rest of the government. Unfortunately there is concern that if protections are not passed quickly this may become a wedge issue, which will polarize what should be a non-partisan concern. Please send this letter to your MLA asking for an immediate committment to work together to help youth in BC.

Afterwards, please forward me their response. I would like to collate the responses and have a clear picture of where members of the legislature stand. That way we can clearly identify allies and for those that aren't we can work on reaching out to them.

Please forward responses to ryan[at]ryanclayton.ca

Need help finding your MLA? Click here

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Dear (First name, last name), MLA,

I am writing this message in the interest of protecting the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth in the province of British Columbia.

Recently calls have come from across the province for an explicit provincial policy to offer protection for all students from discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. These calls have come from the British Columbia Teachers Federation, the City of Vancouver, the Vancouver School Board, the Representative of Children and Youth, and grassroots activists meeting with the Minister of Education through the Purple Letter Campaign. These calls have come as a result of a year of highly publicized youth suicides across North America, including several in Canada. While this is not a new issue, attention is being paid that was not in the past.

In Canada research done by EGALE recently noted that homophobia and transphobia are pandemic in our schools. 70% of all participating students, LGBT and non-LGBT, reported hearing expressions such as “that's so gay” every day in school and almost half (48%) reported hearing remarks such as “faggot,” “lezbo,” and “dyke” every day in school. More than one in five (21%) LGBT students reported being physically harassed or assaulted due to their sexual orientation.

Recently Quebec introduced legislation titled "Plan d’action gouvernemental de lutte contre l’homophobie" which includes explicit policies, funding for anti-homophobia initiatives and a provincial research chair on homophobia. In Ontario the government has introduced legislation calling for explicit policies, enforcement and the creation of support networks within schools through Gay Straight Alliances or similarily themed clubs.

Where British Columbia was once on the forefront of protecting youth, we are now lagging behind other provinces.

(If NDP or Independent)

Struggling students in British Columbia cannot wait for the next election to be protected. We need explicit protections now to prevent tragedy from striking in our province. I would like to know where you stand on creating an explicit provincial plan on ending bullying based on sexual orientation and gender identity and how you plan to work with our current government to make sure it is done quickly.

(If Liberal)

Struggling students in British Columbia need explicit protections now to prevent tragedy from striking in our province. I would like to know where you stand on creating an explicit provincial plan on ending bullying based on sexual orientation and gender identity and how you plan to work with your collegues in government and opposition to make sure it is done quickly.

I thank you for your time and look forward to your response.

Sincerely,
(Your name)
(Your contact info)

I Was in an Abusive Relationship and It's Time to Admit It Changed Me

2011-12-07T11:45:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time, and a lot of introspection, that has brought me to this point.

Many people know, especially if they knew me back in 2009, that I was involved in an abusive relationship. It was a relationship characterized by physical and emotional abuse, more manipulation than I like to admit I fell for, as well as plenty of lying, cheating and general douchebaggery. It took a very long time after it ended to finally come to terms with how bad it had gotten. I still feel sick to my stomach when I see him and anything that reminds me of him can offset my day like nothing else. The last time he tried to speak to me I gave him a glare that made all the plants in a 50m radius wither and die.

After the relationship ended I tried many things to reclaim some shred of dignity. I tried being very social, which I called the “Baking Phase” and involved a lot of delicious ginger snaps. I tried becoming a hermit and hiding away playing video games and watching every action movie that came out in the past few years. I tried to throw myself 110% into schoolwork, which worked for a little while and got me some good marks on a couple papers. I tried dating, I tried being single, I tried working out more often than ever before. The working out one resulted in a rather nasty pulled groin which put me off heavy lifting for a couple weeks and curtailed my efforts for rippling six-pack abs.

I felt like I was recovering from this relationship for way too long. I was undeniably more confident and self-assured prior to this relationship. I loved who I was. It happened during a particularly good period of my life where I felt like I was on top of the world and could do almost anything. After it ended I felt dejected, nervous and immensely distrustful of everyone.

Still, I did the best I could do to “recover” and try to get life back to the way it was before it happened. The problem is that nothing worked. No matter what I did I kept feeling like I still was recovering, like I was being haunted by the spectre of the relationship. I had a long period where I thought everyone looked like my ex and that he was stalking me. I started dreading bus rides in case I ran into him, which happened several times. I even tried my best to forgive him, but then I’d run into him somewhere and within a few minutes he’d make some super-douchey comment and I would cast my death-glare his way again.

No matter what I did for the past two years nothing has brought me back to being that person that I loved being.

Then the other day I was walking to work. I was reflecting on many things, as right now I feel like a lot of elements of my life are shifting and changing. I started thinking about that relationship. Instead of my normal mental changing-of-the-subject-great-weather-we’re-having-eh I focused on that relationship and the effect it had on me. I thought of how long I’ve been trying to “recover” and suddenly it clicked. I haven’t been able to recover because I “recovered” a long time ago. The problem is that when I recovered, as one might expect after something difficult like this, I was not the person I was when I went into it.

Difficult things change people. Two years ago I finally left an abusive relationship, about a year and a half ago I got over it, and it’s taken me the remaining time to finally admit that relationship changed me. I’m stubborn like that.

That realization that I am simply different, not still damaged or struggling to find my footing again, felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. I’m just different, and I’m meeting my new self for the first time. I realize that instead of focusing on bringing myself back to whom I was before, I need to start getting to know myself in the changed way that I am now and bring myself back to loving myself again. I suspect, without the cloud of thinking something is wrong with me, it will be a lot easier now.

It’s time to admit that the abusive relationship was not a step backwards, but a misstep forwards. It’s time to lovingly say goodbye to the person I was before, that I’ll miss him dearly, and break things off with him too. Otherwise I’ll still be in an abusive relationship, this time with myself.

This brings me to why I have decided to share this publicly. I was once told that once you can openly talk about something, not just talk about it but deeply discuss it, you are already over it. I want to share this because I want to be able to open myself up again, even if there are some risks, because until I start talking about these things that profoundly affected me I won’t be able to truly get to know myself again. I want to trust that I am ready to talk about this, that I can handle this, and that the wonderful people in my life are ready to know this part of who I am.

I also want this to be something I can look back on and remind myself that nothing is a step backwards, only steps and missteps forwards.

The Gay Generations

2011-07-02T00:03:00.001-07:00

I thought I would take a break from my self-imposed vacation of watching epic movies to wade into the ongoing discussion that has been exploding lately about the differences between the previous gay community of Generation X and the emerging personalities of Generation Y.

I remember when I was seventeen driving with a colleague to Kelowna for a roundtable discussion between a few of the local gay and lesbian organizations. He and I were having an interesting discussion about the state of the world and I made the outlandish statement of, "I am so glad to have been born gay." I went on to explain that because of the discrimination I experienced in high school I learned how to fight for the things I'm passionate about, as well as understand the importance of rights. However, because of the work of the generation before me I can also enjoy my life out in the open and have a solid foundation to do something about the things I see wrong in the world.

What I often hear in complaints is that the new Generation (read: my generation) know nothing of the fights that had to go on for us to live out lives. The world is so different from the one many people grew up in. There are legal protections based on sexual orientation, as well as marriage rights for same-sex couples. AIDS is no longer an immediate death threat for those who get it, and we have access to sexual health information that would never have been available in the past. The internet has provided us with ways to connect even from small towns and find communities without the need for a centralized gay community. Often people grow up with accepting parents and/or acceptance in their peer group and can talk openly about their sexual orientations.

Yet these came at a price. People marched in the first Pride Parade with rotten vegetables thrown at them, and bricks at times. Thousands had to die of AIDS before scientists could get the funding to even think of treatment, much less actually create anti-retroviral cocktail. People had to create safe communities in bars that were at risk of losing their liquour licenses so they could band together and create a movement to fight for themselves. Yet, much like I attend Remembrance Day and could never understand what it is like to live through the war, I know these things without ever experiencing the struggles and pain that people had to endure.

For this we owe the previous generation of activists our gratitude. We live and bask in the light which they have provided for us. Isn't that the point? Many activists who knew how long the fight would take for gay rights knew that they would only truly be enjoyed by those that came after them. It is true that we enjoy these rights and freedoms and often take them for granted.

People like Harvey Milk fought for representation in government, people like Divine made our community known in the arts, people like Madonna and Judy Garland became icons and reached out to our community. Now Madonna and Judy have become Gaga and Meryl Streep, Freddie Mercury is now Adam Lambert, and Harvey Milk's battles are fought by people like Svend Robinson and Spencer Chandra-Herbert. Gay Liberation Day became the Pride Parade and went from a protest to a celebration.

While many people take these rights for granted and live solely in the moment, so did many in previous generations. Harvey Milk stayed in the closet until his forties and many others lived in it their whole life. Now many people spend years living in club scenes and/or building careers completely free to live in their sexualities without having to fight. Isn't that the world the generation before us fought for? Shouldn't we enjoy it then? That is what people say. When the next generation appears (Generation Z?) many will do the same.

Yet, now we have our own battles. While it is true that we enjoy rights and freedoms many people only dreamed of we are far from done. Local heroes, like Ross Johnson from Out in Schools and Kaitlin Burnett who took on Parent Voice in Burnaby, fight to make our schools safer, as do many people across Canada and the United States. I think that safe schools and a secure education will the the defining battle of our generation, and I hope to be a part of that battle. I do not think that will be the end of gay rights, though.

I have no doubt that our schools will become safe. A new generation will grow up. Gaga and Lambert will be replaced, Meryl Streep will become a "classic" actress, Spencer will retire and new representatives will emerge. Pride parades will evolve into something else, perhaps a cultural history celebration. They will look at us and wonder what it was like for us growing up. We will look at the world that we created and think that it is so different from our own and that so many of them will not know of the struggles it took to create it as such. I for one will be glad, because for all the freedoms I enjoy I do not want people to experience the discrimination I have felt in my life.

They will have their own battles. Maybe a new world order will need activists to fight for fair representation, or some legal battle over rights will ensue, or a regressive movement will require us to stand together to defend our freedoms. I cannot imagine what the fight of the next generation will be, but I do know that activists from that generation will face it full on with the resources and foundation that we, today, will build for them. I wish them good luck, because all battles are hard, and I know they can do it.

Thank you to those who came before us. We will never truly know what it was once like and we are blessed for it. I hope we can honour you battles by fighting our own so that we can one day shake our heads at teenagers and think of how good they have it.

HST and Bill Vander Zalm

2011-06-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

I am not an economist. I am, however, a citizen of British Columbia and have been asked by my government to play economics and cast a vote to decide our taxation policies. While mine is one vote in what will be thousands, I still consider it important to make an informed decision. Of course, for anyone who has been not following the HST debate, this is no easy task.

I first want to address one of the most offensive and disheartening events of the entire debate, one that I was incredibly furious with. That is, Bill Vander Zalm’s comments in response to Chris Thompson’s hilarious and informative “Fight Fight HST” video. I will break it down piece by piece to show why I am pissed off at the contempt this man has for me and people my age.

Bill: “Apparently, I haven't seen the video,”

Okay, here was the first mistake. The moment you say “I haven’t seen this, but now I’m going to comment about it,” you lose all credibility. It would be like if I said “I have never seen Brokeback Mountain, but I think the cinematography was terrible.” (Neither of these statements are true)

Bill: “but uhh it certainly features me for a good part I understand. And y'know it was done by a stu- a lawyer student, a lawyer student,”

I would like to take this moment to point out that Chris Thompson has a degree in economics first, and is NOW a law student. Also, someone is not a “lawyer student.” One studies “Law” not “Lawyering.”

Bill: “and hasn't got a family, hasn't got children, doesn't have a mortgage,”

How do you know? Not every student is fresh out of high school. I myself went back to school after several years, many people my age have children, and Chris Thompson actually does have a mortgage (which he points out in his second video)

Bill: “doesn't have the responsibilities the families in Dawson Creek, Fort St. John, and elsewhere in the province has.”

This is where I lose my head. It is absolutely offensive to say that students do not have responsibilities. Work-study balance, high student debt, the stress of University, finals and midterms, and maintaining personal health are just a few of the issues faced by students. By promoting the idea that students do not have responsibilities comparable to the rest of the population, Bill Vander Zalm isolates and attacks one of the groups he pointed out in earlier interviews to be the “least able to afford” the HST. Not to mention, many of the volunteers and campaigners in the “Fight HST” camp are, you guessed it, students! What a slap to the face to every student who has dedicated his or her time to helping Bill Vander Zalm to promote his message.

Bill: “He's a *University* Law student, a lawyer, watch out, watch those lawyers whatever you do.”

Yes, watch out for those people who understand both economics and the law.

Bill, you can attack the BC Liberal’s credibility, you can promote made-up statistics (90% of people oppose the HST?), you can take quotes out of reports and completely change the context (see Fight Fight HST videos) but you cannot promote the idea that a group of people should be completely ignored because of their age or socioeconomic status. That is offensive. That is wrong. That weakens democracy.

The problem with Bill Vander Zalm, and most everyone else in the HST debate, is that they debate the credibility of the BC Liberals; they debate the media representation of the HST; they debate the money going into both camps; they attempt to discredit the personalities on both sides of the argument; but what they do not debate is the HST.

Now, I have to point out that the truly tragic loss in this debate is the intelligent and sophisticated debate about taxation we could be having. However, rational debate on taxes does not produce sound-bites or headlines in The Province. There have been a few attempts at having a strong debate on the HST, mostly from independent MLAs Bob Simpson and Vicki Huntington, the partisan lines have been too sharply drawn to allow for the kind of debate we should be having. This was apparent with the Legislature moving to lower the personal HST to 10% and raise the corporate HST to 12% over three years. Watching the debate, you would think they were arguing legislative procedure since no one spoke to the actual impact of changing the HST. It was all “we listened to British Columbians” and “you’re buying votes.” It’s hard to blame one party for this either, since both parties are equally guilty of this.

At the end of the day, HST is not about the politicians that introduced it, or punishing the government. We will get that opportunity in the next Provincial election, which by all indications is coming up fast. It’s not about the people involved in the implementation because at the end of the day it’s the people of BC who will live with the impacts of HST or PST/GST. It’s not about the media, the money, or the anger of the population. When you strip those away you are left with one simple question.

“What is the best tax policy available for British Columbia?”

Now, remember at the beginning of this post when I said that I am not an economist? Therefore, I cannot tell you which will be a better policy for British Columbia. I have, however, read the reports that Bill Vander Zalm quoted (which were all in favour of the HST) and the information on the Pro-HST side (which were all in favour of the HST). I sat down with a friend who did his undergrad in economics, as well as some friends who have degrees in commerce and asked them for their thoughts. I looked at the value of the 10% personal HST and 12% corporate HST compared to the GST/PST we formerly had. At the end of the day I have made up my mind.

Now it's your turn to make an informed decision.

The Importance of Being Pink

2011-02-22T17:55:00.001-08:00

In 2007 a young man was ridiculed in Nova Scotia for wearing the colour pink to school. The attacks were homophobic in nature. He was taunted and teased until he finally left the school. Two witnesses to this event were disgusted. They went home and thought about something they could do and found something brilliant. They, and a bunch of their friends, wore pink shirts. An army of pink descended on the school.

Now all over the world people wear Pink as part of different anti-bullying events. Some are in April, some are tomorrow, and others I am sure exist without my knowing. This is a movement, a real-life meme, and something powerful.

Wearing pink in a group is a simple form of protest. You do not need to join a political party, or wave a protest sign. Wearing pink does that for you. What you represent when you wear pink is solidarity against those who would bully, and with those who are bullied.

Sure, lots of people do not like the colour pink. Personally, I think it makes me look really pale. Nevertheless I will be wearing pink tomorrow because I want to be seen as standing against bullying. Sure, if anyone talks to me at any time of the day I will tell them where I stand on such issues, but wearing pink on Pink Shirt Day shows that I care and that I am not alone.

Some people will not wear pink because they do not feel strong enough to do so. Luckily, that is what Pink Day is all about. It is about showing those people specifically that they have friends and allies who are standing up against bullies and bullying.

Some places will wear yellow instead. That defeats the purpose. Fail.

Even better, some of those folks wearing pink will get together with others who wear pink to come up with ideas on how they can carry that energy to every day of school like and how they can make their schools better. Power to them! I think there are amazing things that students can do to improve their schools, and students really know what works best. Peers are way more likely to listen to other peers.

Of course we need to remember bullying affects many different people. Not just homophobia, but racism and sexism and every other -ism are all a part of bullying. Ending bullying means addressing off of these things, while never pushing one aside. But still, never forget that this all started because of homophobic bullying in Nova Scotia.

So tomorrow, February 23rd, 2011, wear pink.

WoW, Compulsive Video Gaming

2011-02-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

It's mid-December. He's sitting on the couch. He's gone from slightly over-weight to a gaunt skeleton. He has only eaten what he needed to survive, slept only when his body became so exhausted that he couldn't remain awake, and he hasn't left the couch in several weeks. His hair is matted and overgrown and has not been combed in ages. He desperately clings to his one addiction.

His appearance, his features, and his behaviour are very similar to a crystal methamphetamine addict. However, his addiction is to nothing chemical, nor physical. His compulsive behaviour was directed towards World of Warcraft.

That was my brother.

I love video games. When I was young and my babysitter would come over we would play Mario 3, Adventures of Lolo, and Sonic the Hedgehog. I credit video games with my deeper understanding of moral responsibility, my understanding of proper character development and story structure, and my ability to enjoy recreation time in order to balance a busy lifestyle. Video games helped me learn how to be confident by providing competition and challenge without requiring inherent athletic ability. In times of stress, I am more likely to play video games, which is definitely a much better coping mechanism than many other alternatives.

My love of video games was based on three factors; characters, story arc, and puzzle quality. Even at a young age I disliked games that did not have engaging or interesting characters, and would quickly become bored with plotless games. While of course puzzles were not essential, the games I remember best are the ones with something to solve. I still remember to always cut pop-can holders before throwing them in the trash because of EcoQuest and the bonus points you got from doing this.

In late elementary school I discovered a game series that would set the bar for all future video games. Quest for Glory, a game by Sierra On-Line, is widely regarded as one of the best adventure games to come out. A mix of humour, puzzles, and challenges with some never-to-forget characters made this game unforgettable. I could go on for hours about the sheer number of plot elements and gameplay characteristics that the series did right.

The game's story arc was engaging. You are a character drawn to the life of becoming a hero and end up in a mystical town that is your base of operations for the game. This is essentially the basis for all five games in the series, with a whole interactive world around you. This base of operations is essential for a new gamers because it provides fun and reprieve from the challenges of the monsters and dangers of the game. Because you have the option to sit in a town for most of the game and buy items it makes it more satisfying when you adventure out and accomplish something. Choice becomes the operative of the game, with increasing challenge the reward. At the end of the game your points are totaled and you see how you did in terms of the overall game world. In this game you are engaged by the choices and decisions you make in the game, with the storyline providing the structure for the experience.

Jump to another game in a similar genre, Final Fantasy. In these games, choice is limited. Rather than a world of mostly unlimited choice, you are on a linear path with the adventures you go on and side quests enhancing the main storyline and making the game easier. You can acquire special items or weapons and fight special enemies all with the purpose of finishing the game the most powerful character you can. Here, the choices you make compliment the engaging storyline. Players are drawn in by the characters and the world and flow along with the story. These games can bring a compulsive gaming experience in that the player is less in control and is always watching for the next event. Gaming becomes even more of an escape.

Developing a character can be time-consuming and arduous. I often found "level-grinding" in Final Fantasy games tedious and frustrating and almost never finished a few of them because the repetitive nature of the task. What kept me going were the plethora of new items, increased stats, and satisfying ding of the level up noises and victory music. For my brothers, this was enough for them to waste considerable more hours than me on these games.

Somewhere along the lines a brilliant game designer realized there was potential to distill these elements to create a more engaging game.

Online games, which started with Sierra's The Realm, was not bad to begin with. Users generated the core plot elements and content, with a framework of a world-wide story line. Mich like Quest for Glory the content was based on safe locations and danger zones of increasing difficulty. They had simply removed a major element. The ending. Characters would continue to grow and content would continue to be produced by other users. A testament to the power of this; The Realm is still available and playable, with a loyal fanbase still generating the content, long after Sierra On-Line folded.

Enter EverQuest. Entering the 3D realm and centering on Final Fantasy-like character development, the game based itself on constantly finding new items, leveling up, discovering new areas and quests, and more user-generated content. This game took things to a new level where in order to complete certain quests you needed to play with others. A sense of pride in being a player emerged, and expectations from online friends meant a strong time commitment to playing. The first stories began to hit the media about players who would starve themselves or miss going to the bathroom.

Why was this happening? Simply put, video games could replace things that existed in real life. Video games provide easy, constant validation. It fills a basic human need.

Grade 12. I'm in the living room playing some random game (I think it was Civilizations). My stepdad comes in and begins yelling at me, saying that video games were horrible and that I was never going to do anything with my life. Now see things from my perspective.

On one hand: yelling parent telling me how worthless I am.
On the other hand: video game telling me how awesome I am for building a new unit.

Not exactly hard to decide which one I want to listen to.

Now, why did I never end up emancipated and unbathed? Quite simply, I had a lot going on in my life to validate me. I had a great job working with high-risk youth that really felt like I was making a difference. I had teachers who pushed me hard, but congratulated a job well done. My friends looked up to me as a hard worker who could get things done. I didn't need video games to tell me I was good enough, I could find that elsewhere. Video games were a nice escape, a quick bit of fun, and then on with life.

Not everyone has that. When someone hears constantly how they're not good enough, that they're stupid, that they're worthless, that they'll never do anything with their lives, well that's no fun. Then all of a sudden there is this device that says "you're awesome, you just leveled up!" Like any normal person seeking some validation, they're much more likely to return to the place of constant praise. The problem with many games, however, is that they have an ending, and the validation stops when you run out of things to do.

This does not apply to everyone in an one-size-fits-all category, as there are many other reasons people may play or not play in a compulsive manner, but this is definitely one of them.

Enter World of Warcraft. Constant stat-building, constant improvement, and a chance to become master of the community. Appealing even to the inexperienced gamer.

In my life I have seen many people drawn in by compulsive gaming. Even people with great support can be drawn in if the praise they receive from a game is stronger than that from real life. Besides, compulsive or casual, games are fun.

So what do we do about it? Saying "don't play video games" is about as effective as telling kids surrounded by drug-fueled environments not to try drugs. Banning video games would be as effective as prohibition, which is to say, it's not.

I suggest we take the sex-ed approach. Education. Education. Education. Make sure people understand the effects of video games from a neutral standpoint. Have kids understand that the approval they get from games is never as good as approval from real life and that games are cold, unfeeling, and careless. Video games are a mega corporation and they sell a product. Some people compulsively drink Coca-Cola, but they understand that sugar is sugar and why it feels good to drink it. No one sees that happy feeling of drinking Coke as the Coca-Cola company validating their existence because they understand how the corporation works.

Second, we need to lobby the game industry. As I alluded to earlier, there are huge benefits to a massively recognized medium. I will never throw out can-holders without first cutting them. I know that there is a chance that birds could get their necks caught in it, but a little part of my still sees +3 points in my mind when I cut it. Incorporating real-world education into games is useful, ethical, and as EcoQuest demonstrated, can be fun and not take away from the game quality. There could even be a commission to evaluate the quality of games, perhaps awarding tax-credits to developers who create high-quality and ethical games.

We also need to watch the genre of online games, or games with no ending, very carefully. This is a neat genre for building community and developing self esteem, but it needs to translate beyond the game. This is a young genre of games, and it has a lot of growing to do. Despite the ethics, investors are cautious to put money towards a game that tries to break the current mold. Again, lobbying will be required to stress the importance of creating new directions for video games.

Finally, we need to recognize compulsive video game behaviour, all the factors that contribute to it, and address it when it happens. Some kids need to be unplugged, but that means nothing if they do not balance their lives back with something. This is an environmental problem as much as a compulsive problem, and each person will have different factors that relate to gaming. Like I mentioned, life could be peachy-keen for someone and they still may have compulsive tendencies. On the other hand, life could be rough, and video games could be a nice escape for someone without it leading to compulsive behaviour. Vilifying someone in that situation could be equally as damaging. Punishing someone for compulsive game behaviour when that is not the case could actually lower the self-esteem of the person in question.

In the case of my brother, who I mentioned at the beginning, we went the drastic route. Unplugged everything. He fought back, hard, and called us every nasty name in the book. I've watched Intervention before and it was pretty well the same. However, after a couple months he found a job, found some friends, and when he finally went back to playing video games again he did not seem drawn to them in the same way. Sure, they were fun, but they were no longer the sole source of life. He recognized that he did indeed have a problem that needed to be addressed and we took steps to fix it.

This approach will work for some, not for others, and is completely unnecessary in many. It is very challeging, except in extreme cases, to know the difference. As time goes on we will be faced with a tobacco-like political conflict where strong opinions and interests dominate both sides with rational discussion and realistic information coming through only after a lot of mudslinging comes down.

For developers, start breaking the mold and making games that enhance the quality of the industry.

For educators, seek to understand video games from the view of developers and gamers.

For gamers who want to preserve the industry, lead by example. Know your limit, play within it.

Bill C-389 Passes in the House of Commons

2011-02-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

When I was in high school I spent some time researching homosexuality through CBC's archives online. I read several articles that pointed out that laws protecting homosexuals were dangerous, as homosexuals would use law to sneak into change rooms and attack children. There were groups telling everyone that homosexuality would be taught in kindergarten classrooms and that society would fall apart. The moderates chanted that sexual orientation was too vague and left things open to pedophiles and dangerous offenders.

Sound familiar?

Groups and organizations have used these arguments against Bill C-389. The accusation is that transpeople are something wicked and evil. Marlene Jennings countered these very eloquently in the house on Monday, but the media barely reported these counters.

I rarely get tense. I rarely have my heart in my throat. Yet at 3:20pm today I was sitting in Starbucks on campus at UBC with my shoulders pulled back and having to remember to breathe. Bill C-389, the bill to add 'gender identity' and 'gender expression' into the Human Rights Act and Criminal Code, was making its way through parliament.

A few months ago I edited a motion for Vancouver city council to support the bill. On Monday Megan Leslie, MP for Halifax-Nova Scotia, read my personal letter of support in the house. Today I was being followed on Twitter as one of the people live-tweeting the event. Needless to say, I have chosen to invest personally in this bill.

Why? Because no one deserves to be the subject of violence and discrimination because of who they are. The very values that I live my life by are threatened by the idea that any group of people deserve to be targeted. Transpeople in particular, many of which enrich my life simply by being friends with me, resonate with me. This bill isn't about a group of people for me. It's about my friends and chosen family. It's about the people I grab coffee with when I have had a bad day. It's personal.

The yeas stood up. I tried to keep track of who did not stand, and who did. Of course, anyone who followed me on Twitter would know what happened next; UBC disconnected my wireless. I rapidly reconnected in time for the nays to begin. My old MP, Colin Mayes, stood up against, as did Prime Minister Harper and many, many others, including some people on the opposition. Of course, my own MP, Libby Davies, stood up to support. I anxiously awaited the result.

143-135. The Bill continues to the senate.

I applauded. Tears came to my eyes. I spilled a little of my chai latte. Yes, I was in the middle of Starbucks. Who cares? I couldn't have been happier. I raced to tell everyone I could think of, I retweeted every happy tweet I could. A thousand posts appeared on my computer of happy, thrilled transpeople and allies.

It's not over yet, of course. The Bill needs to get through the Senate, and that needs to happen before an election is called. The work isn't done yet, all those allies need to write every Senator in support of this bill.

But for now, let's celebrate. Our elected government stood up for transpeople. Today, I am even prouder to be Canadian than I usually am (and people who know me know that I'm starting pretty strong). Way to go, Canada!

URGENT - Open Letter to Members of Parliament About Bill C-389

2011-02-01T16:29:00.000-08:00

During the first hour of debate at third reading Megan Leslie read this letter in the House of Commons. I am honoured that someone chose to use my words to express themselves. Thank you to April who forwarded this letter. I am very humbled to be an ally to the trans community.

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Please forward this letter to your local MP. Bill C-389 goes to debate on Monday, February 7th, 2011.

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To all Members of Parliament,

I am writing today to contribute my support for Bill C-389. This Bill seeks to address the issues faced by many transgender, transsexual, and gender variant Canadians by adding ‘gender identity’ and ‘gender expression’ into the Canadian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code. Currently, transpeople are only protected implicitly, and often face extreme violence and discrimination. Many live in poverty and have difficulty paying for the daily costs of living and health care. This is largely due to the discrimination and violence that they are subjugated to, including difficulty in finding employment, residence, support networks, and services.

It is a testament to the strength of many transpeople who have overcome all odds to stand up for their rights. Currently, transpeople are underrepresented in governments worldwide. There have only been two openly transsexual Members of Parliament in the world, Georgina Beyer (New Zealand) and Vladimir Luxuria (Italy). While a few places in the world offer explicit protections to transpeople, Canada does not.

This Bill is strongly supported by many, including the City Council of Vancouver, which resolved that “The City of Vancouver supports Bill C-389 and calls on members of Parliament recognize it as a necessary measure to ensure the health and well-being of the citizens and residents of Canada and the wider health of its cities and communities.”

I feel it is time for Canada to again become a leader in human rights and offer explicit protections for transgender, transsexual, and gender variant members of our community. I urge you and your colleagues to be a voice for members of your constituency whose protections are at stake and support Bill C-389 on Monday, February 7th, 2011.

I look forward to your response to this important human rights issue.

Sincerely,
Ryan Clayton

Who is Deserving and Undeserving of the Right to Vote?

2011-01-11T18:49:00.000-08:00

A while ago I was sitting with some older friends at a bar while one of them was discussing the idea of her possibly running for political office. I was part of the conversation, but largely I was just listening and not commenting. She mentioned that she “checked a lot of boxes” for representing a large portion of people, and followed with the comment that she was “of a certain age.”

Now, I do not know if the comment was directed at me originally, but the fact that both of them after a moment stared at me made it obvious that they were thinking the same thing. “You’re not of a certain age.” Welcome to one of the most common barriers of my life.

When I am involved in events I often get feedback from people about how great it is that a youth is so active and involved. However, when I mention that I am interested in politics I tend to get the same reaction. Eyebrows raise a little, a small smile comes across their face, and an “isn’t that cute” look comes over their eyes. The point is that people often do not take me seriously when it comes to politics.

This, of course, is not everyone. In fact, most people who have worked with me for longer than a few days begin to take me very seriously. There are many people who I work together with as equals regardless of age or experience and the wonderful things that get done speak for themselves. My voice gets heard and I use it, and I am so thankful for the opportunities that have led me there. However, when people meet me for the first time I still run into the challenge of ageism.

Now there is talk about lowering the voting age to 16. I cannot think of a better way to tackle ageist stereotypes than to have an honest and frank consideration of this proposal.

This is nothing new. British Columbia’s voting age was only lowered to 19 in 1952 and to 18 in 1992. There have always been debates about who is deserving of the right to vote. The elderly, the infirm, blacks, Asians, women, people who don’t speak English or French, etc.

(For some fun history, read through this http://www.elections.bc.ca/index.php/resource-centre/electoral-history-of-bc/)

When I was seventeen all of the local candidates for the 2005 provincial election came to my high school, including now-hopeful-premier George Abbott. Now at this point in my life I was out, proud, loud, and kind of arrogant, so I decided to interview all the candidates. The forum, where they answered pre-determined questions, was generally... well... uninspirational. To be perfectly honest, George Abbott was the only candidate there who appeared to be speaking to a crowd of equals. Everyone else, especially the representative for the BC Conservatives, was talking down to the crowd.

I went and spoke to each of them after. I asked a series of questions about gay and lesbian youth issues. I asked about strategies to tackling bullies, education around homophobia (foreshadowing for my later career?), and support services in and out of schools. Again, George Abbott spoke to me like an equal, answering my questions very articulately while giving careful consideration to what I was saying. The other candidates gave me a quick sound bite of rhetoric and moved on to talking to the school administrators, and the BC Conservative responded curtly with “I’m married” before walking off.

No, I have no idea what she meant either.

Of course, we were not of age to vote, and the school administrators were.

I did the same thing during the federal election the next year. This time I had a very different response; all candidates treated me like an equal and essentially tried convince me how they were, in fact, the right candidate for me to vote for. I was very pleased. Not once was I asked if I actually was of voting age.

What were interesting were my peer’s responses. They were thoroughly interested in my results. A guy who was thirteen at the time asked for copies of my interviews with the federal candidates, including now-Member of Parliament Colin Mayes. Many times when I told people about what the answers were it sparked a lengthy discussion and sometimes a debate about their answers. Gay marriage was just being made legal in Canada at the time, so there were some heated debates.

I also remember thinking at the time that the debates we were having in high school were considerably more in-depth and comprehensive than the debates we were watching on television. There were many times when I would have sworn that we knew a lot more of the information for both sides of arguments than the politicians. Since many of these issues have a huge impact on us as youth; such as tuition; minimum wage; training wage; driving laws; school funding; and yes even marriage laws (I have always wanted a husband and family one day), we educated ourselves on them. In particular my group of friends often would play devil’s advocate and argue the opposite side as we felt to make sure we understood both sides.

Of course, we were not actually allowed to vote. Just drive and be tried as an adult. Oh, and pay income tax.

Now I work in high schools. I often get credited with teaching people about major issues and bringing them information. However, this is often not entirely true. Usually I end up facilitating students teaching each other the information. Often, especially with the use of the internet, students have all the information I am there to teach them and all I need to do is give them the platform to discuss it with their peers. I’ve had grade eight classes talking about homelessness, grade tens talking about HIV/AIDS stigma, and every class can have a decent discussion on why gay marriage is important. Oh, sure, there are some who have no idea, but the same could be said about many, many adults too.

Despite being fairly knowledgeable of HIV/AIDS, homelessness, human rights and the law, they cannot vote. Decisions that affect them are decided by officials who were elected by those who are older, no longer involved in the school system, and have their own perspectives which may be different from a sixteen year old.

The proposal for lowering the voting age to 16, triggered by Mike De Jong, has garnered a lot of support. George Abbott, Christy Clark and Kevin Falcon also support it, and I keep seeing supportive tweets from Vancouver School Board chair Patti Bacchus. Tofino is even passing a resolution to try to lower the voting age.

Would you like to have someone else voting on issues that affect you? Would you like decisions made legally based on a voter base that does not include you? How can youth issues become a priority when youth are excluded from the process that determines these priorities? Youth deserve a voice. Every issue you could raise in a Legislature or Parliament is a youth issue too. It is time to give them that voice and let them vote.

PS. If the person who made the original "of a certain age" comment reads this, I think you'd make a wonderful candidate I encourage you to run. We need more people like you in politics.

Undefined

2010-12-22T12:31:00.000-08:00

Tuesday the United Nations voted to have "sexual orientation" added back into the list of things that were protected against arbitrary and extrajudicial executions. In simple terms, gays can't be put to death for being gay according to international law.

I spent most of my morning watching the debate. If anyone ever doubted that homophobia is alive and well in the world they only need to spend a few minutes watching the representatives of the United Nations talk about sexual orientation for a while. The representative for Zimbabwe, Chitsaka Chipaziwa, said that allowing sexual orientation to be protected would be the same as protecting bestiality and pedophilia and called it "legal adventurism." He also seemed to imply that regardless of international law Zimbabwe would continue to prosecute gay and lesbian people.

The other representatives I listened to were a little more politic, and seemed to rely very heavily on trying to convince the general assembly that "sexual orientation" was an undefined term. This confused me, since sexual orientation is a pretty solidly defined term here in Canada. It seemed backwards and silly to try to use the idea of a loose definition to exclude a group of people from protection. Despite this both the representative for the United Arab Emirates and the representative for Tajikistan tried using this tactic to derail the motion.

But wait, haven't I seen this tactic used right here in Canada?

Bill C-389, a bill to protect people from discrimination based on gender expression and identity, has had this tactic thrown at it.

"[I]t proposes that the undefined terms 'gender identity' and 'gender expression' may be added to the definition of 'identifiable group'" - Lois Brown, CPC, Newmarket-Aurora

"I do not believe that people commonly use this term, so we should know exactly what it means." - Sylvie Boucher, CPC, Parliamentary Secretary for Status of Women

"If you legislate this ill defined and unsubstantiated definition of “gender expression” as Siksay talks of below you will have just opened the door to every uncommon, unnatural and dangerous sexual expression that can be imagined." - Brian Rushfeldt, Canadian Family Action

"I don’t believe this would result in fair treatment under the law. Instead it would imply that prejudice against one ‘group’ (which has not yet been clearly defined) is somehow more offensive." - Leon Benoit, CPC, Vegreville-Wainwright

"Blah, blah, homosexualist, blah, verbal poop." - Charles McVety

Oh, this goes on and on. You know what? The parrying of the members of the Conservative Party of Canada and the maneuvering of the United Arab Emirates and Tajikistan are the same thing. It boils down to intentionally discriminating against a group of people and resisting change based on discrimination. After watching what happened in the United Nations we should not find this acceptable on Canadian soil.

So, for the assistance of those Conservatives who apparently don't have Google, here are some definitions.

Sexual orientation: a pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to men, women, both genders, neither gender, or another gender. Also refers to a person's sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviours expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them.

Homosexuality: Sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex.

Bisexual: A person sexually responsive to both sexes.

Heterosexuality: Sexual feeling or behavior directed toward a person or persons of the opposite sex.

Asexuality: The lack of sexual attraction, or the lack of interest in and desire for sex.

Sex: The property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male on the basis of their reproductive organs and functions.

Gender: Sexual identity, especially in relation to society or culture.

Gender identity: A person's concept of being male and masculine or female and feminine, or ambivalent.

Gender expression: The physical manifestation of one's gender identity, usually expressed through clothing, mannerisms, and chosen names.

Now, everyone needs to take a moment and write to their Member of Parliament and point out that should they block this bill they will be remembered in history on the same page as those who fought for the right to execute gay and lesbian people arbitrarily.

Muslim Faith on Mars

2010-12-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

I have just finished reading a science fiction novel form 1992 called Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson, which is a fictional account of the colonization of Mars in the mid twenty-first century. While I intend to focus on one point of the book, I found that many extremely important themes run throughout this novel and highly recommend it to anyone who is remotely interested in good writing. It fully encapsulates the way that science fiction should be written in a fashion that is difficult to be replicated. It is often metaphorical for life as we know it now, but set in a new era.

The story is told from multiple perspectives, and the author seems incredibly capable of shifting from view to view in each of the parts. The often confused Maya is balanced with the soul-searching John Boone, countered by the rigid and political Frank and the earthy and humanistic Nadia. The author makes many assumptions about the future that one can see clearly developing in the world today, eighteen years later. Interestingly enough he predicted that Islam would become a much more prominent religion than it was in 1992 and analyzes different aspects of the religion from the characters perspectives that encounter Muslim emigrants to Mars. In particular, John and Frank have lengthy exposition dedicated to how each of them sees the religion and its followers. John from a much more spiritual approach, Frank from a much more economical and political approach.

The thing that I noticed right away was the stark difference in how the religion is described from this book to modern depictions. In the book John encounters different groups of Muslims (spelt Moslem in the book) and analyzes the spirituality behind many of them in his own quest to find a sense of being and belonging on Mars. Many of the groups have different factions; some pray with more dedication than others; some adapt to new practices as a new religion; some welcome John in his soul-searching; and some do not. Their values often align with John, and some of the best passages of the book are when they look, together, at their commonalities. Frank on the other hand is closed off to their teachings, seeing only practical ideas as useable and political power as superior to an inner sense of connection or belonging.

The key thing I noticed is that at no point are Muslims portrayed as radicals or terrorists. They are never seen as monotheistic, or violent, or irrational. The single act of violence that is attributed to a Muslim character in the first chapter is seen as a political and economic move played by an ambitious and jealous member of the United Nations with no religious implications. In fact, they are almost always portrayed as a reflective and caring group with openness to both John and Frank and a welcoming nature. In fact, John even sees them as a refreshing contrast to the violent and assertive Americans in the novel.

Nowadays anywhere in the media or the news one can find portrayals of Muslim people as terrorists, radicals, or severely anti-Western. This stereotype has continued ever since the events on 9/11 and continues to be encouraged. Particularly within the gay community, when a hate crime occurs, you see this highlighted. If a white man commits the crime they are vilified as a bad person, someone who is intolerant and ignorant. When a South Asian person commits the crime they are seen as a product of a hateful culture, an outsider bringing a philosophy that is against Canadian values.

This is reflected in our day to day culture. Has anyone really taken some time to look at the themes behind the video game Halo? The Covenant are seen is misguided extremists attacking America. The Holy Saviour of the Covenant, the Arbiter, was originally going to be called the “Dervish,” which is someone following a Sufi Muslim path. Of course there are also a lot of parallels from that game to Catholicism, but that’s another topic altogether. Play any modern war game for any console and you will see these themes, sometimes subtle, often overt.

I’ve been very blessed in my life to have many friends who are of Muslim faith. One of the benefits to being in University is that you meet a wide array of different people. In order to study properly for one of my classes I joined with a few people who sat near me in first year. They invited me to join them for breakfast after most classes and we had many deep and interesting topics. They knew I was gay, I knew they were Muslim. In fact, we often discussed different views on sexuality within their groups of friends and parents. We also frequently discussed pop music, environmentalism, politics, and languages.

What’s important to remember right now is that the stereotypical portrayal of Muslims in media and video games is something very contemporary. It is also a product of works in media and television, which can often be fictional or exaggerated in order to be entertaining. However, these are creating inherent biases into our culture that are creating barriers to working together as a diverse society.

So often we forget that diversity means all things covered under the Human Rights Act, such as age, sexual orientation, physical and mental ability, sex, culture, ethnicity, religion, and race. In order to safely say we embrace diversity we must all be cognisant of the many layers and shapes of diversity and be careful not to limit it to discrimination we see and are affected by in our surroundings. Just because gay is currently the major human rights battle in North America doesn’t mean that Muslim won’t be the “that’s so _____” of tomorrow.

Of course the book does exactly what a well written science fiction novel should do. It is an ability that I have only seen replicated in Battlestar Galactica and the Oscar winning movie Crash. No one is a hero and no one is a villain; rather mankind and human nature are both hero and enemy. Discrimination and stereotypes play a factor, as does religion and capitalism. Political ideologies are introduced and reduced and removed. Most importantly, it serves as a warning of what could potentially happen if we are not careful as mankind develops and changes and evolves. However, if we embrace that diversity means learning from each other and understanding others then we help create a community that is unified and strong and based on respect.

Don't Ask, But We'll Have to Tell

2010-12-18T13:51:00.001-08:00

Today I woke up to a cloudy, almost rainy day. I didn't think much of the morning, so I hit my snooze alarm a few times. When I was finally ready to crawl out of bed I quickly checked Facebook and Twitter via. my blackberry from bed. Quite suddenly I jumped upright in bed as I read news that changed my perspective of the day.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the US military's anti-gay policy, was about to be repealed.

A little later, while on the bus, the repeal went through the Senate of the United States easily with a majority of 65-31. Since Barack Obama has said he will sign it and has been an advocate of the repeal it is essentially a done deal.

This is a historic moment. I don't think we can comprehend what this will be like twenty or thirty years down the road. However, I realized that this entire situation felt reminiscent of my days of high school social studies. I was brought back to the good old days of sitting in a computer lab listening to my grizzled teacher talk about the days long gone when women couldn't vote, blacks couldn't serve in the military and Chinese people were charged a head tax to emigrate to Canada.

Since the beginning of time human rights have taken many different forms. They've been a part of the lives of million of people. People of every sex, gender identity, religion, ethnicity, ability, sexual orientation, race, culture, and many other factors have been affected by varying levels of human rights. These battles have peppered our history with battles, legal and military. The crusades, the Holocaust, the suffragist movement, the civil rights movement, the gay rights movement.

Now when students read about these points in history we see them with a bit of disdain. How could people have been so bigoted? Ignorant? Cruel? We can hardly fathom a time when women were completely kept out of the political process, much less the idea that she was unable to vote because women were somehow inferior. The notion comes across as ridiculous to most people now. The idea that interracial marriage is acceptable to all but the most extreme of our society, and the idea that it was illegal is almost laughable now in its absurdity.

One day we will have children, or nephews, or friend's kids, who will ask us about Don't Ask, Don't Tell. They will make the same statements; "How could people have been so bigoted? Ignorant? Cruel? Would someone ACTUALLY be discharged from the military if they were found out to be gay? But they wouldn't lose their benefits, right? They would? That's stupid." (Imagine that last bit in the voice of a six-year old)

We will have to explain that there was a time when people actually believed that gay people were somehow inferior to others because of their sexual orientation, and that because of that they were not allowed to marry, to serve in the military, or donate blood or organs (still true in Canada). We will have to explain that in places in the world being gay actually meant being put to death, or having to apply to another country as a refugee to survive. We will tell stories of the battle for equal rights for gay and lesbian people that will seem as foreign to the youth of tomorrow as the civil rights movement was foreign to the youth of yesterday.

I can only imagine those who fought against this repeal who will one day have to explain to their children and grandchildren that they fought against human rights. Hopefully their children will laugh at them, as we sometimes laugh at our racist or sexist relatives, and label them "stuck in their old ways." Hopefully those children will also recognize that there were thousands of progressive people who fought for human rights, and that not all old people are backwards.

These shifts aren't slow, nor are they expedient. My father was alive when Harvey Milk was assassinated and during the Stonewall riots. Granted, he doesn't remember either of these events, but he was alive. Now look at the fight for gay rights. We may not be at the finish line, but we're closer to that than we are to the starting point. Now, gays can serve in the United States military (They've been allowed to serve in Canada since 1992), should they choose to, openly and proudly.

However close to the finish line we get, however, we cannot forget that this is an every growing fight. Gays were once allowed to serve openly, in fact it was encouraged. I'm referring to the Greeks back in the Roman era. Gay men were considered to be the best form of soldier because their passion would give them the strength to defend their fellows on the battlefield. Then there was an uprising of changing values and cultures, the popularity of theocracies and restrictive monarchies that caused a shift towards a culture based on procreation and population growing. This led to the persecution of gays and lesbians as immoral (along with a while slew of other immoralities and immoral people, including women who practiced medicine).

So when we one day explain to youth about the closed-mindedness of our culture which we were raised in, do not forget to remind them that they must also be vigilant, for there will always been shifts in values, culture and power, and it will be the youth of tomorrow who will be the front lines of both defense and offense. Because of the importance of this, because of the gravity of human rights; even if they don't ask, we'll still have to tell.

In the meanwhile, congratulations to the US House of Representatives, Senate, and President for getting it right.

I'm a Homosexualist

2010-12-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

Today while I was working on a paper for Social Work class on public policy on homophobic violence I decided to take a break and see what the Google has to say about Bill Siksay's Bill C-389. For those who are unaware of this bill, Bill's Bill intends to add 'gender identity' and 'gender expression' to the list of things that are protected from Hate Crime in Canada. Bill's Bill has so far passed every reading and committee it's been through, and is expected to be voted on in December. Of course, rabid anti-gay, anti-trans, anti-cleavage folks have taken up the charge of crusading against this bill, saying that it will shatter the foundation of everything Canadian and give every baby herpes. Or something like that.

I stumbled across an article that crusaded wildly against the bill, saying it will create a legal nightmare when trying to lock these people up, and would mean that pedophiles and peeping Toms would line up to storm the bathrooms of the nation the moment the bill passes. Oh, and I think it said something about earthquakes, though that might only be cleavage related.

What made me pause for a moment, beyond the sheer number of "things" in "quotations" to "make" them sound "scarier" or "foreign" was the use of the word, "homosexualist." In fact, it was used in reference to Ellen Woodsworth motioning that the Vancouver City Council support Bill C-389, which passed unanimously. The article mentions that she is a liaison the the LGBTQ Advisory Committee, a homosexualist group, of which I am the co-chair. Now, right away the magic spellchecker on my computer is prompt to inform me that "homosexualist" is not actually a word, and politely suggests I use "homosexuality" instead. In fact, a quick look at an online dictionary confirms this is not actually a word. However, Urban Dictionary being the go-to for the latest terminology is always an asset.

Turns out this term isn't all that modern. In fact, Gore Vidal in the late 1970s, the celebrated author and essayist explained that, since "homosexual" is used as an adjective ("homosexual fantasy"), the noun form needed something more, distinctive and substantive. He used "homosexualist" to describe someone who is gay in practice, or as a state of being. Jesus, on Urban Dictionary, mentions that the term was popularized by Daffyd from Little Britain. I suspect the usage of a new word means that the word homosexual is not nearly as scary a word as it used to be, as evidenced by the fact that I did not put it in quotations. Therefore a new, foreign, and scary term needed to be coined.

This of course bring to mind the questions of whether or not there are heterosexualists out there, but it just seems like too long of a word to bother using. I mean, it's seven syllables; obviously excessive.

Despite being unrecognizable to the clever world of Webster, I saw this word come up again and again on many extremely anti-gay sites, warning that "homosexualists" are coming to confuse children into thinking that their sexual orientation is anything other than a frightening and scary monster from under the bed and in the closet that should inspire fear and bed wetting, much unlike the cuddly monsters from Monsters Inc. Obviously when their fuzziness became too adorable, they were replaced by the gays.

This got me to thinking. I didn't know anyone who was gay until around the age of 17. In fact, I came out of the closet before ever knowingly meeting another gay person. In more fact, the gay friends I eventually had I only met after coming out. So unless the creature under my bed whispered in my ear to inspire inappropriate thoughts about Drake Bell as a kid, there was no way I was coerced into a confusing lifestyle.

But beyond that, there seems to be a "homosexualist" life out there that is terrifying, and obviously causes cancer and obesity. At least, it seems to be described in the same way that McDonalds every day is. Well, again thinking about my own life, I am a little confused. See, I made 99% of my friends AFTER I came out. I was anti-social, nervous and shy before I was thrown out of the closet. After I came out, I didn't feel like I had the same things to hide, so I just made friends. Furthermore, it strengthened the friendships I already had. Also, I'm still pretty skinny.

Now, I work as an activist. I work closely with politicians and influential policymakers to make the lives of those around me better. Wait, so helping people is the destitute life I was destined for? Somehow, I'm okay with that. I can't imagine that is I had been born heterosexual that I would have had the avenues to become involved with the working of the world around me. I think that the times in my life that I've had to overcome adversity have given me the drive and stories to find my voice.

Since moving to Vancouver I have never hidden my orientation. Sure, there are still some people who take a little bit to figure out that my limp wrists and love of drag shows isn't eccentricity, but for the most part everyone knows. I have many close friends from many different walks of life. That is to say, not all my friends are gay, white males like me. I have friends from a diverse mosaic of ethnicity, cultures, religions, genders, political stripes, hair colours, educations, beliefs, orientations, and shoe sizes. I accept that the things that make me a person are unique to me, and that the labels and titles and colours of a person are just the ways to describe the sheer uniqueness of everyone in the world.

So, for anyone who stumbles across the word "homosexualist" and thinks to themselves "wtf-ist?" I want them to think of something. I want them to think of me, the openly gay cismale who is perfectly happy to be called another term to expand on the plethora of adjectives that make me unique. Also, because I represent something much more terrifying to the anti-gay, anti-trans, anti-cleavage types. I'm happy. No shivering in fright from what might be lurking under my bed, and I know most of the things hiding in the closet will eventually come out.

Oh, and support Bill C-389, because everyone deserves to explore and identify their gender in however way they can.

Top Ten Tricks of Facilitating

2009-05-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

1. Be Current. Whatever you’re there teaching you should focus on the news and current events to constantly be in the know of latest developments to share with your classes. If you know of some information that was released the day before not only will everyone appreciate it and be involved in the presentation but you’ll look professional and impress the people who brought you in and make them feel like it was worth their time and effort.

2. Eye Contact. I cannot stress how important it is to make eye contact with students. They aren’t in school because they want to watch a recording of someone teaching them. They want to be involved and engaged and making eye contact makes the presentation three dimensional. It will also help you notice things like when someone wants to speak or is feeling uncomfortable and draw them into stories and powerful points.

3. Be Early. Before a big game athletes need to stretch. Before a big show actors need to warm up. Before a presentation facilitators need to prepare themselves. Try to leave a minimum of fifteen minutes after you get to where you’re going to settle down, meet your contact, meet some of the students and catch your breath. This is especially important if you have a co-facilitator because you’ll want to go over things with them and you don’t want them waiting wondering if you’ll show up or not. Also, meeting a couple students is helpful because they will feel more comfortable having spoken to you beforehand. I’ve said this many times about a show I was involved in and I think that it goes for facilitating as well. “The team that arrives early almost always wins.”

4. Check Your Shit at the Door. If you have a problem with a facilitator, the material or just general problems outside the presentation it needs to be left behind. Obviously anger can be very powerful if channelled correctly but it can also detract from your presentation to a point where it actually hurts your message more that it helps. Make sure to take care of yourself outside of the workshop without burning out. If you cannot work through your problems at the time make the call for yourself to step out. Never leave this up to a co-facilitator. It will never be fair to expect another person to keep you in check or babysit you through a workshop. Remember, you’re there to deliver a message and that’s the most important thing.

5. Respect the Students. Students are people and people by nature and sentient. I’ve had grade threes have intimate discussions about racism and I’ve had grade eights talking about HIV/AIDS and how that affects a person’s mental wellbeing. They may not know all the information but they are not stupid and should be treated with respect. Also very important is that even if they know the answer not all students will have the words to express it. Remember that sometimes it’s important to remember the language is not what’s important and the message is. If a student wants to explain something in language that is different or possibly even inappropriate let them speak their mind, translate it and address the importance of language afterwards.

6. Use Your Intro Properly. After a short amount of time an introduction can feel monotonous and boring but it is actually one of the most useful times you will get in a workshop. Once committed to memory you can use that time to connect with each of the students using eye contact and watch for reactions to certain words. In many of my workshops the words “Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender” are used partway through the introduction. I will watch to see which students react by changing where my eyes fall for each of the words and identify potential discomfort and potential allies. The introduction is also your first impression to the students.

7. Admit if you Don’t Know. If you don’t know the answer to a question answer simply that you don’t know. It will make you very human in the eyes of the students and help them feel connected to the presentation. With any luck they’ll feel empowered to investigate their own question further and look up the answer themselves or reach out to another source. Empowering a student to look up something themselves can sometimes be as powerful as the workshop itself.

8. Movement, Posture and Tone. Find moments to move around the room and interact with the environment. There will always be things to connect with. Use things like the board or projectors as props to make your presentation dynamic or more interesting. Remember to keep good posture as it gives the impression of status and approachability. Tone is also important; be careful not to be sharp with your tone and try to keep a voice that seems genuinely friendly and helpful. This is much easier if you’re genuinely friendly and really want to help people. You can vary your tone to sound funny, serious or make very powerful messages heard more clearly.

9. Remember Your Role. There is a difference between a facilitator, teacher and lecturer. A facilitator mediates a discussion and lets the students come up with the questions and answers. The facilitator simply guides them and asks the right questions to lead them in the right direction while answering questions effectively. A teacher shares their knowledge with the students by getting them to work out the answer but offering much more structure to them and showing them the right way and often leads them through the discussion. A lecturer speaks directly to the students giving them information in an interesting way while leaving little to no room to figure it out on their own. There is no right or wrong way to present information, but remember what role you were brought in for and make sure to keep this in mind.

10. Have Fun. If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing you probably shouldn’t be doing it. It takes a particular passion to do workshops and if you don’t have it you will easily burn out or become frustrated with the amount of work you have to put in to it. Having fun both inside the workshop and around it will make it so much easier and enjoyable and spark for passion for it every time you get up in front of a room.

Magic Moments

2009-04-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

The other day my boyfriend and I met for a day of adventure. Not actually having any idea where this adventure would take place we decided to go with a trend we've been following for a while and explore a public market somewhere. From my illustrious perch on the SkyTrain I had in the past spotted the New Westminster Quay Market and so we settled on going there.

It was a nice, warm and beautiful day. The sun was out, there were scarce few clouds in the sky and not too many people were traveling. We arrived at New West Station and made our way across through a maze of construction towards the waterfront. On our way down I was delighted to spot a lesbian couple holding hands. In fact, as we came to the corner there was us on one corner who are gay, a lesbian couple on the other side and next to us was a straight couple also holding hands. It was a little snapshot of relationships.

We walked to the quay and noticed the public market was all boarded up not to be opened for a couple months. That's the fun of adventures, things can go crazily awry. So we decided to take advantage of the sun and walk along the boardwalk next to the Fraser River. Incidentally the Fraser is a really icky looking river, but that is irrelevant to the story.

We decided to do something risky. Something so dangerous we were risking our very lives. The skies could cave down and lightning rain upon our heads for what we did. We held hands.

As we walked we happened across a police officer walking the opposite direction. There were lots of others around the area, alone or in pairs and the officer was walking with someone as well. A small breeze rustled the trees and flowers along the way. She smiled at us and cheerily said "How's your day going?" to which I replied a cheery "Fantastic!" and we walked on.

For some reason this image stuck in my head as we kept walking. It was the stereotypical day on the boardwalk from every Archie comic I read growing up. It was a single moment that fit every happy relationship image that had been pressured onto me since I was a little kid. It was also a moment that I believed would be typically denied to me.

I mentioned this to my boyfriend and we both agreed that moment was nice. Just nice. It was a subtle, adorable moment. With the sun shining, the people out walking, the trees waving in the breeze we were simply a part of it.

I think back to the three couples at the crosswalk. Did the lesbian couple feel the same way about holding hands? Did they appreciate the simple moments of being greeted as a couple by a passing officer? Did the straight couple take those moments for granted? Could they even know what it's like to have that denied? Should anyone?

We continued walking on without any repercussions. I think in a way the bashings and attacks that have been happening lately have inspired us to hold hands more often just to show how normal it is. No matter how you see it, that moment on the boardwalk sticks out in my mind as just a beautiful, wonderful moment that people should celebrate and cherish when they happen.

A Funny Thing Happened While I Was Being Gay...

2009-03-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

The principal drops me off in front of the familiar doorway. I smile and walk briskly inside. There is nothing unfamiliar about this room, classrooms are all built roughly the same. I survey the room to see where I should stand, where I should move people and where is the best place to see the board. I might as well be in my own home. I walk up to the teacher, who is unfamiliar, and introduce myself. I am the guest speaker, I explain.

I ask the basic questions; Anything I should know about the class? Do they know what I'm here to talk about? How talkative are they? Everything seems in order. As the students filter into the room I can feel my own anxiety building. A small bead of sweat follows down my brow. I feel like Richard Nixon under a stage light. I continue to chat up the teacher, keeping cheerful.

Bam. A pencil hits my chest. I look slowly down at it and then up to the boy in the front row who threw the offending object. He looks as innocent as possible and says, "I was aiming for the teacher!". A smirk crosses my face. "If you're going to bother to throw a pencil at least try to have good aim!" I remark. The boy laughs, even the teacher breaks a smile. In the back of my head I register: the boy in the front row will be my ally this workshop.

It doesn't matter how people feel about sexuality, laughter is universal. If I can get a class laughing they'll listen. Having banter right at the beginning of the class is endearing; no matter what I say next my first impression is already set.

My introduction is so rehearsed I don't even have to think as I say the words; my mind is running through a whole list of other things at the time. I tell them I'm part of a community centre for people identifying as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning and straight allied. My mind is regarding the expressions on their faces. Do they look shocked? Do they look excited? Offended? How is my ally in the front row? His expression is a little wide-eyed, but my banter paid off, he breaks a smile as two plus two equals: he's a funny homo! I have a couple humourous lines in my intro which help me gauge the sense of humour of the audience.

If the class doesn't have a strong sense of laughter I just try to tell honest, genuine stories. If the class is highly energetic I throw in rises and falls in tone and pitch to make the powerful points stick while keeping the rest light. If the class is somewhere in the middle I'll be a little more sarcastic without schticking.

Sure enough this class turns out to be a high energy class. People run around, people laugh, they make their own jokes which cause me to bust a gut. For all my definitions and questions I have witty responses, some new and some old, to share with them. When it comes time to switch to the serious topics I change the tone of my voice and my posture, which brings in their attention. All my performing training comes together for a few moments to make a powerful impact that I know is the core of why I'm there.

I end off the class with my personal story, which is as much stand-up routine as a honest, from the heart story. Really, aren't the best ones like that? The class laughs, gasps at the right points, blurts out comments when they can't hold back their energy any longer, and burst into applause when I'm done. After the class they stick around and high-five me, or hug me, or thank me for coming.

A while later I run into my friend from the front row on the street. We chat for a bit about touring the area and going back to Vancouver and shake hands in some weird handshake I learnt in junior high that I just barely could remember how to do. He promised to see me next year.

Yeah, maybe people won't stop saying 'that's so gay' over night, or making assumptions based on stereotypes, but that guy from the front row is and will probably always be a new found ally who at the very least will think about what he's saying before he does. And you know what he'll probably do? Laugh. Because he'll remember some joke I told long before he'll remember any of the info I talked about.

Summary

2009-03-10T16:47:00.001-07:00

So here I am, sitting in my Dad's basement surrounded by my brother's friends thinking about the last three weeks in retrospect and thinking of all the amazing experiences I've had. Let's see if I can surmise the trip in a couple short stories.

The most negative workshop I had involved walking into a classroom and being given no introduction, therefore requiring me to get the kids attention. It wasn't long before I figured out that I was facing a fairly negative crowd. Specifically, one group of guys. Whenever they weren't yelling out random, inappropriate comments they were whispering to themselves and chuckling at their comments. It felt rough to me, but the biggest shock came at the end. When I got the anonymous response forms back from the class they came back all positive. Apparently it was all just posturing and showing off for their friends.

In one class a teacher cried as she shared a personal story about her family and how one family staying closeted affected the rest of the family and the people he inadvertently hurt. In another class a young girl came up to me after, eyes watering as she explained how scared she was to one day come out to her parents. The effect of my being in the schools was not lost on me.

Many great, positive experiences made my trip worth every minute. Many people asking intelligent questions, or everyone saying they have a close gay friend who they care about and many people getting upset when I tell them that gays can't donate blood, or that being gay is illegal in some countries or most upsetting; Ellen DeGenerous' marriage may be annuled because of Prop 8.. Even cooler was the ammount of people who would come up to me in the halls later just to say "Hi" or give me a high five or a hug. Literally hundreds of kids came up and chatted me up during lunch hours or after school or in the streets after.

Possibly the most powerful event took place outside of the workshops altogether. I was at a fundraiser and a girl approached me and thanked me for coming. She went on to explain that she had come out to her parents in the past and had been kicked out of her home. Now she was in the foster care system. Nothing warmed my heart more to know that this person was now doing all right and that I had been telling this person's own story back to her in the form of my workshop.

As important as the workshop is for the people who are resistant or negative and as fun as it is for the great allies I meet every day the part of the workshops that makes me the happiest is the fact that somewhere in the back of the room is some young boy or girl looking at their homework and pretending they don't have any idea what I'm talking about but secretly are thinking to themselves 'I'm not alone.' Now, I may never find out what effect I have on classes or schools or even individuals but the mere fact that out of the nearly two thousand kids I spoke to over the last three and a half weeks there were some whos lives might have been made better by the workshop makes everything worthwhile.

Because really, that's what's most important.

Week One

2009-02-20T12:37:00.000-08:00

I'm finally able to take the time to sit down and pour my thoughts onto this blog after the first week is done. While I could probably write for hours and hours, I'll try to keep it manageable.

I arrived off the Greyhound on Monday morning at 1:35am. Believe me, it's really cold at that time in the morning. On the bus I had managed to chat up someone who was sitting next to me (Katie, I think her name was) and she said she'd pass my business card on to someone in another school district. I never stop, really.

My first day went off to a great start, I puttered out to one of my favorite schools in the area and jumped right in to workshop mode. I met with the staff at the school, many of which remembered me from last year, and met many of the students. All the workshops went very well, ranging from a slightly quieter class who was definitly listening and asked some of the best questions; all the way to a boistrous class that was a lot of fun, a lot of laughs and one of the most thrilling to be a part of. I was asked questions about drugs, stereotypes, stigma and myths around GLBT persons which showed an insight I am always thrilled to see in anyone, much less a youth.

Outside of the workshops the area is interesting. It is stunningly beautiful, the snow on the mountains makes the whole area seems like something out of a picture book and the lakes makes for a great view no matter where you are. Driving around the highway is always a thrilling venture just for the beauty and sights.

I took in a play last night with my dad and was thrilled to see some of the actors I had previously performed with in it. Even more exciting was when I went backstage after and talked to the leading lady, who I had worked with before, and she was thrilled to tell me her son had been in my workshop and enjoyed it very much. In fact, I'm hearing all around the board that most of the students who saw my presentations were talking with their parents about it. Sure, some of the responses were negative, but the mere fact that people are talking about homophobia with their familys and peers says something amazing.

There are more thoughts that race through my head. A great meeting with the Social Responsibility Committee at the school board office, catching up with old friends still in town or just plain walking around town, but I think that's long enough for today. I'll share more as exciting things happen.

On the Edge of Change

2009-02-12T23:12:00.000-08:00

So here I am a couple days before leaving on my month-long trip across different parts of BC. Even though I started planning this around four months ago it feels like it came up way too fast. There's so much to do before I leave!

I'm excited and thrilled to be heading off. A month seems like a long time but I know once I'm there it'll whip by like no time at all. I'll be grateful to be back in Vancouver so I can share stories with my friends down here and celebrate a successful trip. But that's not until mid-March and for now I need to plan leaving.

I've already started getting my clothes cleaned up and picking what to wear between now and then so I have nice clothes on the first couple days of workshops. I'll be in schools every single weekday except two (one pro-d day and one day I just have off) and I'll be travelling all over different parts of town.

I'm mostly going to miss the sheer ammount of events going on in Vancouver while I'm gone. Several shows, meetings, conferences and such will be happening while I'm away, but that's the nature of getting out into rural BC.

Not really much to write here for tonight. This blog was made more for once I'm actually up North and the things that happen while I'm there. Before I leave here I will be dancing it up at UBC as part of OutWeek, so that should be fun.

See y'all on the other side,
Ryan

Finally Back!

2009-01-15T20:20:00.000-08:00

As bored as I was during the Christmas break I have more than made up for it with jumping back feet-first into the swing of things. This post isn't going to have a set theme, just a random smattering of things that are going on right now.

I've started doing workshops on sexual health with the local health authority. I like them, they're different from the workshops I do on violence and discrimination. There's a different tone to them and the kids respond much differently to them. I've already peppered (and salted?) my own little jokes into the ones I've been doing and I have no doubt I'll come to quickly develop my own style for each of them in no time.

I've been making a lot of posters lately. You do one nice one and apparently you're a graphic designer. I'm actually finding it very fun. I haven't had a major creative outlet since my show ended and so doing posters has lent itself to that. I love playing around with the colours or the shadows to make things just right.

Did workshops off in Surrey today which involved a very long bus ride. The workshops we did today were running at the same time in different rooms and were condensed to 35 minutes. It was insane, I was talking like an auctioneer all day and by the time I was at the 5th workshop (yes, 5, I'm not kidding) my voice was an octave deeper and almost gone.

My dad left this afternoon back for home since he was with me for a couple days. I'll make a post about his visit next time since there is a lot to be said for the last couple days. Maybe tomorrow...

I'm on the cover of Xtra West, so if anyone see's a copy pick one up, it's a great article (in my opinion). I'll talk a bit about that with the article about my Dad as well.

That's all for tonight.

Seeing the World

2009-01-08T18:39:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love most about doing workshops is the fact that I get to travel to every part of the Lower Mainland and see parts of the area I would likely never see otherwise.

I'm back from my Christmas holidays (which were mostly spent playing video games and pretending to be a hermit for a while, which was nice but got boring quickly) and I'm back in the full swing of doing workshops again!

Today I woke up at 5:30am and spend an hour and a half on transit all the way out to White Rock, about 10 minutes from the US border. I couldn't really see anything on the way out there since the windows were fogged from the early morning but I generally knew as I travelled from city to city and whereabout I was. I got to walk through the quaint little village area of White Rock to the school I was at and then when I was done I got to do the same on the way back to Vancouver.

On the way back I spent most of my time on my phone calling people and passing the long ride back in and trying to figure out where the nearest bathroom was in relation to where I would be getting off. Starbucks on Davie. Got it. It was still a nice trip.

Through workshops I have gotten to go through different parts of North and West Van where the houses are amazingly beautiful and the estates and properties are extravagent and posh. I've gotten out to Deep Cove which is a gorgeous view form pretty well wherever you are in the town. I've gotten to go through most of Richmond and Burnaby and parts of New West, all of which I'd likely never visit if it wasn't part of my job. I get to explore small cafés and little resturants as I look for my lunch or after workshop snacks, or my coffee in the morning. I've gotten to meet the people from different areas and find out what's cool in each place.

I have a little café in New West I always go to if I'm teaching at the alternate school there. I have the Blenz I stop by if I'm going up to North Van. I have a whole mall I can visit on a lunch break in part of Richmond. And of course it's always nice to surprise the Starbucks by my house with the fact that I can, indeed, wake up before noon.

One of the nice things is returning to a place and going back to the same café or store and having little routines for whichever part of the Tri-Cities I'm in, or going back without having workshops and telling people what fun it was to get lost in this shopping centre or that plaza. I've gotten to know little corners of the area by chance of schools being everywhere.

I have to say having explored more of the city than many people who've lived here forever I am very glad I live here in Vancouver and am so close to these neat little nooks and crannies of society. It's a wonderful place to be.

Christmas Fun

2008-12-27T12:39:00.001-08:00

So here I am, finally home after a wild group of Christmas joy. Starting with an appreciation party for the volunteers of the Centre I'm involved with, then a lovely Christmas eve party with some close friends, then drunken Christmas antics with three gay comedians, a doctor and my straight brother and then winding down with some quiet time with close friends and company.

I have to admit Christmas for me brings up thoughts of fighting around the dinner table, everyone on edge and grouchy and ridiculously high expectations of how everyone should behave and act. I can understand why so many people I know start drinking Christmas eve and stop around New Years.

The volunteer appreciation gave me a real sense of community. I felt like I was a part of some large, loving family that was a part of something much greater. As we all sat around putting back drinks (Irish whiskey for me, on the rocks) we chatted about activism, recipies and what a wonderful year we've all had. I met new people and spent time with old friends.

I went over to a friends house early on Christmas eve and chopped things. Lettuce, garlic, onions, I was a chopping fiend. It resulted in a delicious vegetarian feast worthy of kings and queens and I couldn't have shared it in more wonderful company. It was a close and intimate dinner, something I'm not sure I've had in many, many years.

Christmas day was spent with members of the Bob Loblaw Queer Arts Society (newly named) and again it was a close and wonderful dinner. I also got to play WiiFit which was a great glorious time streaching and jogging and having plenty of fun. Great company, again lots of alcohol.

Now I'm very tired and a little Christmassed out. Can't wait for New Years.

Bad Word Choices

2008-12-23T12:33:00.000-08:00

I always try to keep a positive spin on everything I do and it tends to leak into the things I write about. Even horrific events like my friend going into the hospital can have it's silver linings. However, the other day positive was the worst posible outcome of a conversation.

These last couple days have been an emotional rollercoaster as some people close to me know already but one particular event seems to stand out. I spent the morning waiting around in EB Games in Metrotown even buying a game and chatting with my brother and watching the growing line of last minute Christmas shoppers. My friend met me in front of the entrance.

We went up to the office floor where it was quiet and away from the mass of shoppers. I already knew from an e-mail before but I still got him to tell me. He had tested positive for HIV.

I cannot fathom how he is feeling right now. I spent a lot of time thinking how I'd react if I discovered I had HIV. I doubt I'd handle it well, but there is a block in my mind which stops me from imagining it clearly. Before this day I had known many people who were positive but they had been since before I met them. I imagine I know even more people who simply haven't told me, but this was the first time where someone who I knew was negative had tested as positive. That transition scares me so much.

For myself I've just been getting involved in a couple HIV/AIDS non-profit organizations, and organizations around health and sexual health. This little loop on the rollercoaster of my holiday season so far reminds me how important it is to stay involved and keep working, and encouraging others to get involved as well.

Hopefully my friend will be able to find the resources and help he needs to keep himself healthy and happy and live a regular life. Time will tell.

Improvised Improv

2008-12-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

The thing I love most about improv is how much fun it is with next to no preparation. Therein lies the challenge and the excitement.

Last night I was attending the Christmas party for the YouthPolitik group. I cohosted the YouthPolitik conference back in November with the fabulous David C. Jones, so I was invited to the Christmas party.

I love politically charged youth. I had many wonderful discussions with some of them about politics, status, public speaking and acting. At some point it was mentioned that there was going to be a talent show. I thought "That's nice" and then mentioned to a friend of mine who was standing next to me "Wouldn't it be cool if we put together a random four-person improv team?"

It tooks a couple seconds before I thought about it full and I was off like a flash. I grabbed one girl who I knew was witty and two guys who I knew at least one of them wanted to be an actor. While I was still getting everyone ready to go we were called on stage.

I did a quick intro, mentioning that the actors on stage had never met each other before and only decided to do improv moments before coming onstage. I then warmed up the audience quickly and we set about playing the Questions Game. That was crazy fun. Then we played Options, which I couldn't remember the name of at the time, partially because that was a game we'd done at the banquet as part of the conference so I knew people would remember it and the rules. It was fantastic. The scene was in a movie theatre and they even changed scenes to the concession partways through. The three people (Naina, Charlie and Tyler) did a fantastic job, had fun characters and were very witty. I was highly impressed and the audience loved it and cheered and laughed and everything. Glorious.

Just goes to show improv really can be everywhere. A very fun evening all in all.

Courage to Come Out

2008-12-17T23:17:00.000-08:00

There is a moment in some workshops that is one of the rarest gifts I think a student can give me. It's a mixture of an encouraging and understanding teacher, a confident student and classroom that feels like a safe space where a student will actually have the courage to come out in front of everyone.

This has happened to me only a rare few times in the workshops I've done. Each time I remember it like a beautiful and elusive gemstone that only pops up when you're least expecting it. Even more elusive are those brave, courageous folks who actually share their own personal stories with the class.

I remember one class in Salmon Arm where a girl came out right at the beginning of the workshop. She was a grade eight at the time and admitting she only had feelings for girls and had told several of the other people in the class and didn't mind sharing in front of everyone. My cousin might remember this as she was one of the girls in the class as well. Near the end of the workshop another girl admitted she felt she was bisexual since she had felt attracted to both girls and boys and then mentioned she had never told anyone this before. The class applauded.

At the end of that same class while the two aforementioned girls came to talk to me another girl came up with my cousin and as my cousin gave me a hug this girl also came out and said she was too scared, even after two people has done so before, to say anything during the class.

This morning I woke up at five in the morning and boarded a bus from Granville and Broadway and spent the morning listening to cheesy music and watching snowflakes fall down around the bus. It was relaxing and peaceful. Sorry, cynics, I love the snow.

Today I was in White Rock. Despite the weather's best efforts to freeze my ears off before I could get to the school I made it in one piece. While speaking to the first block class I got people to share whether they would be comfortable with their best friend being gay or lesbian. Some people shared a little and then one girl said, "Well, I'm gay, and I'm out, and my friends have accepted me and things have been great."

No matter what the situation, no matter how many times I hear it, I will always be awestruck at the courage and confidence of some students. It's one thing to be out, quite another to share it in front of the class and then inspiring to hear them share their own stories. I feel so priviledged and honoured to be present when this happens.

PS. I've realised it's really hard and the end of the day to pick what I want to write about because so many things happen in a day!

Spreading Christmas Queer

2008-12-16T00:48:00.000-08:00

I had pretty well forgotten when a show felt like when I was overwhelmed with excited energy in the Odyssey about an hour before our show began. It was kind of firey and tingly. I liked it.

I had just come in from doing a fantastic workshop in New Westminster in the morning so I was riding that positive energy wave. I absolutely love some of the youth I get to work with, especially when we can have a mature discussion about drug abuse, violence, discrimination and stereotypes and then during the break talk about STI's and contraceptives in all seriousness. Sometimes adults aren't half as mature as some of these youth. Anyways, back to the show...

To give you an idea of how this all went down we wrote most of the pieces that were performed in the late fall. They were shopped into a single, flowing script which we received about two and a half weeks ago. We had a single rehearsal before today, and today we came in and did a tech-run. The cast was 19 people.

My character in one of the scenes was a super-friendly receptionist, which I did some fun physical stuff with and put on a silly voice. "Tales, tell us your story!" Our tech went nutty on us so I had to project like hell to get my voice to the back of the room, but I think I did a good job of that. It's nice to know when I need to I can pull focus back to myself.

We ran though the rest of the show and I came in for the poignant bit at the end where I was a boy in a very heterosexist house trying to just get by the holidays. It felt like real life. I mean, my parents and brothers all know but sometimes the extendeds can make things awkward.

After we finished our set I got to enjoy the exceptionally sexy Oh, Boy! Cabaret, the Bob Loblaw Queer Comedy Troupe (in their final show), and the ever delicious (and thin) Peter Breeze. After that was frolicking around the room catching up with everyone whom I hadn't seen since the end of Tops and Bottoms and chatting with the wonderful people who made the show a huge success. I am blessed to be surrounded by such talented, fun and attractive people.

Thank you to everyone who came out and supported and to all the amazing people who I performed with who make my life so rich and interesting. Your creative talents inspire me every day.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Richmond...

2008-12-14T21:12:00.000-08:00

So I was navigating my way out to the Richmond Oval opening to do a gig as a roving character when I hopped on a bus at Granville and Broadway. I guess I wasn't paying attention, I assumed it was a B-Line. It was not.

All of sudden this bus (unknown number, still) turned towards the airport and just as I was panicking and being like "I'm doomed to be lost in Richmond!" I spotted the giant square shape of the oval. The bus dropped me off a block away from it. Surprise.

I'll admit, roving is pretty tough. You're playing a character competing with all the distractions of a major event. Stage shows, stands, celebrities and skating. We managed to do a fun and fantastic job as three bumbling folks lost at the wrong event (we were looking for the Richmond Opal) and people seemed to like telling us how silly we were.

The second day of performing I was on the bus (the actual B-Line this time) and two older guys were beside me talking about the good old days when Celebrities was fun and a bunch of underground pubs and clubs were open. Apparently kids these days don't know what it was like back then, but it was definitly better back then. Hmm. Maybe. I can't say I've ever had a craving to hear a raid alarm, but I imagine I would have been one hell of an activist back then.

In conclusion the Richmond Oval is just that, an oval. It's fun if you like skating, and the speed skaters who were present were possibly the hottest guys I've ever seen, and the building looks cool. I'll probably not go back unless something really exciting goes on (or one of the speed skaters calls me. I hope it's Peter...)

If people aren't doing anything tomorrow night come by The Odyssey for a show starting at 9:30; Spreading Christmas Queer! A Christmas comedy extravaganza!

Hospital Rounds

2008-12-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

So there I was riding the B-Line home from the hospital when a rather attractive man stood up and grabbed the pole I was holding on to about an inch above where my hand was. I glanced down and found it rather entertaining to find his feet perfectally lined up with my own. We were standing in the exact same position. It entertained me more that it should have.

About six weeks ago one of my closest high school friends went into the hospital with third degree burns on most of his body. I got a message on Facebook that night informing me that "something" had happened without any specifics. The next morning I called his old roommate in a panic wondering what happened and was given a couple more details. I was at the hospital a couple hours later (when I was off work) and in to see him a short waiting period after arriving.

I will probably never be able to describe how I felt at that moment when I walked into the ICU. I guess I was in shock, there wasn't really anything I could say. I spent most of the evening with his family and friends.

The following week was a wreck. My boss was away from Starbucks so I was running the store as the manager for a week. I let the other staff know that I had a friend in the hospital and they helped out a lot with running the store when I was overwhelmed. When my boss finally arrived back from his trip I explained that I was burnt out and I needed some time off to digest all that had happened.

He told me if I took any time off I'd be fired. I quit on the spot.

I spent the next couple weeks visiting him when I could and seeing him slowly get better. His consiousness regained and he can now nod his head or roll his eyes. Skin grafts slowly began to take and he started to look better and better. Another friend and I became so desensitized to being in the hospital we could sanitize our hands, put on robes and gloves and go right in without thinking about it. The hospital became a comfortable place to be.

There's so many "What if?" situations in this whole thing that sometimes it's pretty overwhelming. I can't really get into the details, I'm not sure I even could begin.

About two weeks ago I got a call from my mother. She explained that her cousin's son was in the Children's Hospital with a brain tumor. He's 5. I went down there as soon as I could and acted as a proxy for my mother and gave his mother a hug. Since then it's been a regular day to go from hospital to hospital visiting people. I'm constantly impressed by the nurses and doctors at both places and the loving families and friends surrounding these two people.

Likely for the next several months this will be the routine of my life as well. Visit each hospital, remind myself that these people are all right, or will be one day.

Question

2008-12-10T15:54:00.000-08:00

Today while I was speaking in Langley a student asked me 'Why do you do what you do?[workshops]'

When I was in high school I was out, but it was impossible to talk about being gay. I had heard through different people being gay was wrong, a disease or unacceptable. I thought that was true and until I came out I was depressed and hated my self. After I came out I was acceptable because I didn't act 'gay' and I seemed 'normal' to most people. I never had a chance to talk about my sexuality with my general peers and hear what they had to say, nor did I really get much chance to talk about it with my friends in much depth, except for a few people whom I was very close to.

I can't imagine what it would have been like to have a speaker come to a class and give us open forum to talk about sexuality and discrimination. The things I talk about now are gems I never had in high school and would have greatly appreciated. I don't know what my classmates would have said, though from conversations with them post-secondary I think they would have mostly been supportive. I'll never known because I never got that chance.

Partways through my workshops I almost always ask people to raise their hands if they know someone who is gay. I then get them to keep their hands up if that person is a close friend. Almost always a large portion of the class will know someone and several people will keep their hands up. In high school I assumed I was the only one. If I did this same activity in my high school I think a lot of hands would have gone up and I wouldn't have felt as isolated.

There is another reason I do workshops. It gives me a chance to share my own experiences with students all over BC, but it also gives me a chance to hear what they have to say. I have a unique opportunity to have students open up about their fears and concerns and experiences around gay and lesbian people. I can answer questions and ask them questions that might have never been asked. I wouldn't trade that perspective for anything.

And finally and kind of selfish on my part; I feel like I'm making a difference. It's one class, one student at a time but I feel like each day I do a workshops I'm making a difference and changing the world. As Jim Deva keeps reminding me, "You're saving lives."

That's why I do what I do.

Rally in the Valley pt. 2

2008-12-09T00:09:00.000-08:00

From Xtra Online. I speak out!

Rally in the Valley

2008-12-07T19:59:00.000-08:00

There is something very fullfilling about opening up one's schedule and seeing in big bold print 'Ride the Queer Express' on your things to do list.

I woke up nice and early Saturday morning and crawled out of my house to the local Starbucks to get some survival nector (coffee) and headed down to Davie St. to the Centre.

I was the first (to my knowledge) to arrive. I picked up myself a copy of one of the free newspapers and glanced over the headlines about the proroguing of parliment. I spent a little bit of time trying to figure out what the word 'prorogue' meant (does it mean you like theives?) before some other folks began to arrive. Fantastically I was pleased to find it was a group of all the usual community suspects. After helping Jennifer Breakspear carry some munchies from the grocery store I was thrilled to be able to stop by Xtra West's office with Robin and Mark to get some media photocopied so we'd all be in the loop as to what was going to be our day.

There is something familiar about being in a newspaper office that reminds me of my childhood. Maybe that's fodder for a blog on another day.

Climbing on the bus sent a little tingle down my spine. You could feel the excitment all the way down the seats as everyone prepared to bring a little Vancouver flavour out to the Abbotsford queers who would be rallying all day. I saw many familiar faces from the community; Ken, Ellen, Jo, Caryl, Kevin, Nicky, Johnny, Lydia and many more that I would come to know over the day.

Energetic conversation, delicious chocolate covered raisins and frequent speeches by Jennifer characterized our trip down. I shared a story about a vaccuum. My seatmate informed me which person on the bus he knew dirt on. The people in the seat behind us shared trail mix. The trip (little over an hour) felt like seconds.

Another feeling filled the air as we traveled. Tension. For most of us who live in the West End or Commercial Drive we're used to feeling safe in and around our homes. While no one expected anything dramatic (or maybe some did?) we definitly knew we weren't going to be in Kansas anymore. A speech from Jennifer spoke to all the fears we have from reading one too many news articles.

"If anyone gets scared, lost, hurt, arrested... call me. Stay together. Stay safe, and have fun."

And we arrived. A busload of queers and otherwise identified joining the already massive ranks of Abbotsfordians gathered and ready to march. I must say the rain definitly doesn't keep politically-minded Valley youth away from a good 'ole march.

A little maneouvering and resistance was required to move onwards. As I understand it the city council changed the permit to march on the organizers and put them through residential areas and nowhere that would be visible. Well, you go ahead the try to stop a bunch of politically-charged marchers from going their previously approved route. I'll wait.

Shouting. Cheering. Waving. Honking. Smiles and people joining us from all over. I even saw a car pull over and the women inside jump in to join our cheery bunch. Eventually we joined up with the folks who did go the city-stamped route and we went as one big, gay group up to the University campus.

Scores of speakers, one homophobe with a sign, hot chocolate, popcorn, chai, bathrooms and a lot of conversations with everyone who was around set the tone for a fun little rally with one hell of a message. One guy insisted he liked the popcorn from the bottom of the machine because it was the crunchiest part. At any given time I had at least two people under my friend's umbrella (which I carried while he carried a rainbow flag). Many speakers came up from all different and diverse parts of the community.

As I climbed back on the bus I was surprised by how fantastically soaked I was. Really, I probably had enough water on my person to do a load of dishes. I was also overwhelmed by the feeling on the bus again. Accomplishment. We did it.

Everyone was laughing, everyone was happy, everyone was excited. Jennifer threatened people over chocolate covered raisins, Natasha was congratulated for distracting the homophobe and I shared conversations with all the people around me. I couldn't help but think 'This is community.'

So thank you to everyone who made that day so wonderful both from Vancouver and our cousins in the Valley.